I’ll take a bow, give me thanks, shoot me right into the pink It’s not the end of the show, i just don’t know how to start it Cause I’m so guarded, turn stone hearted when i’m shown darkness There’s no pardon or parole, i’m just a prone target Head in the clouds, i’m diagramming divines I could ruin a good thing, i’m a heaven landmine But i’m still climbing high, like a tide i’m rising Full moon pull, making waves is all about the timing I’ve been singing songs for the pirates, i’m a siren See me on the horizon, they admiring the reef, while the reef is dying My climate changed there’s no denying i’m finding, i’ve become bitter and jaded but I don’t wanna stop after Hi like J did Plagued with, hatred, so hard to escape it Probably never let it go, but maybe I could be persuaded Stave off the unknown to stay at home and write a verse I’m trying to overcome my nerves so i can go and do some verbs I’m not idle like i used to be Refuse to sleep unless i get to lucid dream Refute the need to live my life reclusively But truthfully, i’m somewhere between two extremes So i redact my bullshit, it’s an act, i pull the curtains back, But i’m still so theatrical I’m like a heat seeking missile, at my peak, i don’t miss, And you’ll agree i’m unique cause when I speak, it's authentic, tongue in cheek, but I meant it, off the scent, i’m long winded So sharp i’m augmented, all sense it, i’ve ascended

I feel contested, this corner I’ve been pressed in I give you my presence, my presence unpleasant When fear coalesces, i’m here for one minute, No matter where the next is, i’m scattered and reckless Won’t dial back my tone, so don’t tell me to hold it When I’m in my emotions, all truces broken If you make me opponent, that’s a bad omen I’m known to hone in, my telescope focused My flame has been stoked, if it feels like i’m boasting That’s not the point, and that’s not what i’m supposing Mostly, i’m tired that the world is so hopeless Too quick to turn a mirror into self-diagnosis Fuck the external forces, you can’t take me alive, habeas corpus Run free wild horses Mix of chorus and distortion Hoard resources from the poorest, heard this story once before And it’s the sort of reoccurring curse that’s normal now Weight of the world rests on the tortoise It’s unnoticed in rigor mortis Pull up the roots of the trees, see the rot from within, they failed to nurture the seeds Barricaded my enclave And dodged how many early graves? Done with the days of behavior, they’re phased out, i’m on the edge of razor blades Y’all gave witness, quit with semantics, picked at my rib, conflicts stacked Like dirty dishes in my kitchen, genie out of wishes, not a foothold in could mend this New phone who dis? i’m a menace I might pull tricks or i might sulk in trenches When shit gets contentious, you hit me like tennis Cause for concern, convert the hurt to apprehension Until the day i’m buried in dirt, i’m trapped with the tension I’m on defense, don’t wanna pen in past tense Convinced myself the whole world had gone and then amassed against me I’ll pretend to portend, i thought i saw my end coming with my seventh sense No pastiche and no dependence Carry my penance close to my heart like a pendant All the past ten years have been a fall into decadence Lash out, crash and burn, in a flash i’ll be back When they roll on me like thunder, i crack like lightning For the crimes of passion please indict me Cry me a river, just don’t stymie my liver Forced to stand and deliver in the hot and cold wars Settle the score, won’t be your pinch hitter anymore When it rains it pours, the pain don’t fade, it’s stored You don’t wanna be there when it bursts down the doors They tell me to relax, it’s fine, go rest your head But I’ve got an ax to grind so i’ll chill when i’m dead

Open my mouth, when I do I end a role model Before I wrote bars, I fell gospel I turn my eyes old but stay young, fling flung, not far When i hold patrol for aging fossils like dude, get off the roster They come softer the more popular, refer to a monster Cut off like a mid 2000s bowl, stealing just to say they stole By the time they elapsed, I eclipsed everyone with a rabbit in their hat Here’s a tip, I’ll clue you in to this, I’ve been the whip, I’ll stand sick And rip you in half, and then fourths again Your words sound weaker when they’re not blaring through the speakers I’ll be the gatekeeper, awaken the deep sleeper Dry heat with dead beats, clothes wet and dumb feats The knives I speak reap crops from your shit teams

Bound as all hell, everyone to a cell I’m further off in the distance with abominable yell I can’t sleep, unaffected by restlessly counting sheep Sandman gonna come but I collect the reaps You’re betting on a means, i play for keeps I embody these lines, stenographer got a key On the kitchen floor sippin mimosas, 2 AM too far gone to hold composure Young cowboys die guns in their holsters Is this the world that we’re supposed to live in? We watched it grow up and go on without us In my mind i’m inclined the rewind the wasted hours I’m 23 now, 9 an hour’s my wage By the time i’m 25, I need at least 40 K By the time i’m 28, a wife and kid on the way If i don’t get it in time, then mark me dead in the grave Who they expect to do them proud? I’m just an isle in the sea of the crowd, i depart I’m not the first to make a witty remark in a bar With all the animals coupled up like they were on the ark Cause you ain’t finding a mate, if you ain’t making it rain It’s a shame i can’t relate to having biblical names I found a peace, in learning what i was about If moral reef ain’t the truth then cast me out god Too many leaders they can’t follow my wit So take your bullshit and go wallow in it Every time i wake up my wallet’s a little thinner Eating quesadillas every breakfast lunch and dinner Clothes looking decrepit, if it ain’t fit then i stretched it Dissed and dismissed, i’m getting desperate MP3 downloads, ten of diamonds in hand Angel hair on the stove, i got simple demands

I’ve come a long way since construction paper hallways I’m a pallbearer always carrying the casket Get thrown off the scaffolding Yes i’m a mad acting bastard and thank you for asking me I laugh at the wrong times, lead with the wrong rhymes One foot ahead but four behind, until i go the whole nine I’m on the search for worldly mystique But there’s vultures perched above me, i’m perceptively weak I’m at the peak of a mountain of forgotten renown Sound of my voice echoing down to the town on the ground Reverberating through your speakers Sometimes i think i’d rather watch my life unfold from sitting in the bleachers my outlook’s bleak, i’m like a beached sea creature And they’d rather see me leashed than extended beyond my reach Emotion leaked, somewhere between the numbers and the figures My Rapunzel let me down, as i stumbled through the rigors I found a home among the jungles and the rivers Where i blend into the background like i’m just another ninja I built a room around the elephant Tell me i’m out of my element, like it weren’t already evident I know this, unnoticed, is no impediment Man if i were in my element, my songs would be irrelevant

We’re manic carbon, i’m moral reef I’m like the chief I’ll keep it brief Read my motifs in this leaflet Cause I don’t believe that we’ve met You can find me down in the abyss Where I’ve been trying to find my bliss It’s like this: Denounce an old self, soul spent in resentment Content with ill intent I might get sentimental, it’s a little hard to swallow Sorta like a spoonful of cinnamon, acetaminophen Instead of daily vitamins, wake me when i’m a better man Abettor to a severed end, I weathered all the downward trends But still put down and condescend, stubborn i don’t like to listen Condemn them if they don’t fit in, cover for my own dilemma Send me to Gehenna Free yourself and find the sentencing’s twice given Oh what’s life like in a bigger prison? Cull the herd, whole third wanna drag ‘em Can't exist just straddling the schism There’s mistakes that i own, and I try to atone Still you state only, hate for me, Fate forcing, haste forming Late warming placeholding Won’t be playing when i’m hanging from the balcony Talcum p, on my hands, i need alchemy I need a miracle or magic or something so enigmatic As a tear in the fabric, a pattern seen in the static That’ll turn this haphazard habit to have it half as tragic I dragged myself down through this abyss I’ve been tryin to find my bliss, my bliss Every wasted waking moment i’m remiss, i miss And it goes like this

Devise the plan and execute actions Design a new faction Comprised of some fast friends Divide the tasks into fractions And be surprised when none of the tracks spread Like didn’t I invest enough passion? The products of labor are subtle But these beats still be bangin in bubbles I confided in you, gave timelines til conclusion Denial’s a tool not confined to the truth What your child can do’s no desire to you This profile of my mood could provide a solution All the while you’d sooner Capitulate to the rich stooge you relate to more Shoot for the moon off your doorstep Gone soon, it's a secret the sun kept validate me, validate this You just got lit up Don't be bitter Self inflicted, you silly fuck Don’t front with the monk shit Cause the trail cold to your sole niche And you’re too old for a slow pitch You’re the sultan of the snitch And you think that you oughta be rich Cause you audibly slick, til the modesty kicks in don't validate me, don't validate this shit

Driftwood on the ocean, I withstood the lone motions And consumed the flow potions, It made my self-esteem potent. Now that every one’s divided, let’s find the quotient It’s somewhere lining the walls of our homes with the gold tokens I’m frozen, forever stuck in perpetual stasis My intellectual side’s been abducted, trapped in a basement I took one look at my date book and erased it ‘til i was faceless. I spaced out and paced about the house to pass the hours I’m lacking power and packing downers, suppressing cowardice But the sound of my vowels still made it from my router to your browsers though, didn’t it? I hate proving my doubters right, I’m bred of night and i won’t sleep until i’ve seen some light I’m ill fated, no matter the cadence the pain displayed naked Heinous crimes against the self, i find i won’t consent to help I’ll just condense this inner hell, attempt to dispense or expel Reflection lingers well beyond the bombs I dreamt within this shell I could make the whole thing float away Any day Stasis I could decay or just sigh Make my bones into coral hey I No face no sky no place no why Sank the boat just to swim away Anyway Faceless I don’t know where I left my good side Make my bones into coral hey I No face no sky no place no why See me sitting looking wistful out my windowsill It’s been 30 fucking years i’m on the D-low still Self-fulfilling fears’ll kill you long before a trigger will They don’t really feel you til…..well they never really feel you That’s the truth, a youth’s instilled with what's their starting situation Mutations and aberrations can never join the conversations They can never pave ways, they crave praise, but stay away, when friends say hey, feel waylaid, save face, favor slow decay

Borrowed time No tomorrow i’m a debtor, no quid pro quo, catching on to all the tricks Deliver me a better lie, quick No interest in a phantom plan, PIP Don’t you see me grasping at a wisp? Carry secrets to the grave, encrypted No letters on the headstone, rip No, I won’t be at peace til at least they cease lying While we at it, please decrease police violence Cycles that we’re trapped in, this collar’s got no slack in it Enacting plans written just on the back of a napkin

Old dog same tricks Trail off, ellipsis Tail end of this shit Closed off like a fist is But the distance not enough when they’re still getting hits in What’s my confidence reduced to? I’ve been turned stone cold from Medusa I’m in disputes with the noose Why do I always go back to the same abuser? Bruised up, had a run in with the boozer Confused, what I make excuses for? Behavior that I wouldn’t accept in myself Why I gotta die just for you to get help? Had a knife night, called my job, influenza Downplay it to my friends though Thank god I diverted her Nearly had to call the song murderer

Trigger my solo rapture i've written the final words of the chapter caught sleeping and i'm the last up now my wick's burning faster Warm words never mattered i'm cold, i’m almost a cadaver life's a bitch, switch off and go get plastered she ain't kill me, but i wouldn't put it past her god has never been an answer, i've been lying to myself and to the pastor, look around, i've just been passed up all my peers are always flashier the 2020s might be my last years i'm not solely disappointing, i graduated into a disaster tell me why, i'm slaving away when i never had a master i'm sinking further down, i think i'm drowning the idea that keeps on hounding me, that it's all bliss in the boundless abyss succumbing to all the pressure, they tell me that life's precious but it don't feel that way from the funeral procession i went from heaven sent to hell bent within a sec in the midst of my ascent i caught my feet in the cement tormented at my assent, i feel i'm hardly worth a cent if i ever said i was content, that's what i said not what i meant can't amend this life, can't pretend i'm alright, polite placebos, validation matthew christ Can't depend on me at all, pallbearers down the hall, ready for me to fall into a coffin well be my guest, at least i’ll finally get some rest

I’ve come a long way, but I gotta go Didn’t see it to the end, but I gotta go I’ll take a bow, then I gotta go It’s been 30 fucking years, now I gotta go Whatever happens next, I still gotta go Didn’t mean to cause distress, I just gotta go I gotta go I lost my trust in people I’m being pulled into a deep hole I hit a wall when I leap forward Agoraphobic, Pandora’s box where my soul is I lost my fire Late riser, early retire Teeth clenched, one misstep, I’ll be tumbling from a wire I don’t like who I’ve become It all amounts to this one lump sum Hands shake, I’ve been living under thumb Only fear one man, one bullet, one gun, one There’s only one way to interpret it In my mind, the good times are just blurred bits I only see clear the shame I’m so weak, weary, and lame Incomplete, nearly insane From the darkened days To endless nights I hold the scythe I think I might I bear that pain I gave it name The pressure builds I call for help The silence kills I swear I will It’s not enough

Pull out a card, fuck it reshuffle the deck It won’t come back around, the karma’s so indirect I count a cross, fill the boxes like my life’s picross But the picture don’t make sense when respect is lost Expected loss, i paid the cost, my loan is off the books I could cut and run and be a rotten crook, that’s what i should have done I’m not too big to fail, i make the same mistakes Why be a snake if i only ever eat my tail? They don’t investigate the claims I make, So the joy i take from them’s not worth debate Returned to my state of birth, a boy to a man, from snow to the sand From hotel plans to the back of a hand, i know it too well And i don’t need to tell it to myself ever again There’s poison in my pen and there’s venom in my lyrics I’m becoming numb to the noise and choosing not to hear it i'm out of time, about to pack it up I think this train is mine, sayonara I wrote my last ten lines for this chorus I ate my last past life, ouroborus When i die, there’s no guy with a list, no shower of gifts No gardens of mist, no elliott smiths But my time on earth’s not rigid, i should be less timid Flip the script, my lines rewritten I could live 9 lives in one lifetime if I like But from the outside you see the highlights only I’m tired of being ashamed of being lonely I sold your social capital so you don’t owe me I unloaded all my debt, i’m bouncing every check Burdenless as i hit reset Cause i’m the author til the ink dries Tell myself some white lies The foster found a home inside a disguise Ante up and call with a bluff, i’m all in i’ll either win or bust, no matter what i’m on the cusp Forgo the odds, i’m Cooper coming out the black lodge Saying sayonara bon voyage to my world’s mirage (cause there's another way, so far from healing if there's another way, i don't want to see it what about the pain is misleading? i'm so far from healing)